Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
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as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
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I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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