so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
