Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
