I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
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