I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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