gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
