Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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