Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
