We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
i will never coherently bang her
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
