Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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