don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
