i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
So much rum. So many feels.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
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