Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
