i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
