is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize