I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
