I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
