i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
