my text book just quoted the cookie monster
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
