I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
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