Have you finally orgasmed yet?
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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