New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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