i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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