Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
