I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Randomize
