I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
