I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
You are a genius and a whore.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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