don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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