dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
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