he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
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