you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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