a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Life is so much better after having sex.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
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