sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
We are two peas in an std pod
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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