I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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