i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize