..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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