Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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