I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
