i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
