I want to have your abortion
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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