shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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