I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
