Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
