i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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