Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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