i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Randomize
