Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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