I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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