i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize