We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
