I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Randomize