Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I think pants incapable of making pants work
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
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