I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
