My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
