he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
