Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
