yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
