Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
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