I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize