thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
