I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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