We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
