I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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