I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Randomize
