just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
