the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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