Your face is a jimmy john
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Boobs speak an international language.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Randomize
