How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize