Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
