Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
they need to just BURY HIM!
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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